For those who haven’t caught on yet from previous posts, I live and work at a raw vegan community and retreat center in Arizona. At the center, I work on the website and help research and edit for the center’s founder and chief physician. It’s a great job and I love the community and lifestyle here, and for the most part I am quite happy. Yet there’s been something on my mind I’ve been eager to share with the world (or at least my few and wonderful devoted readers!) relating to my job and lifestyle, and that’s how I’ve found living and working in rawfood vegan bubble to be a very complicated scenario! It can be fun, bizarre, inspiring, and sometimes very challenging. In this post, I’ll highlight some of the challenges I’ve found related to balancing an extreme lifestyle workplace with what’s necessary for me to feel balanced. (Note: The opinions and ideas I share in this post are not necessarily in accordance with those of my workplace, and they are by no means representative of others who live and work for the center. While many friends of mine have mentioned similar feelings to those I express, I would never wish to speak for anyone but myself.)
One of the biggest issues I’ve found living in a raw vegan community has been figuring out what percentage of raw food feels best for my body, and learning how not to cave in to social pressures that include obsessive cleansing mentalities that seem to be present among some (though certainly not all!) staff at our holistic health workplace.
As a healing center for those with diabetes and other chronic health conditions, our center outlines a very strict set of permissible foods (100% raw, no soy, no corn, no sugar, no gluten, no garlic or onions, no mushrooms, and on and on…) that has been shown to be highly effective in helping guests heal their chronic conditions and can improve health during even short stays. There is nothing wrong with cleansing per se, and I imagine that there are some individuals out there who really do feel amazing on eating totally, 100% raw, however as my experience and as some of my friends’ experiences have shown, beyond a few months, eating 100% raw, especially 100% raw and low-glycemic (the center where I work serves only low sugar raw vegan fare, meaning no refined sweeteners including agave and yacon syrup, etc.) can feel very restrictive. For those of us younger folks who are already at healthy weights, the pressure to further purify, continue to lose weight or otherwise cleanse can be frustrating. Where does the pressure come from? I suspect it’s the culture we all perpetuate based on the fact that most of us have studied these holistic healing modalities and have watched hundreds of guests undergo serious healing transformations on this diet and lifestyle on a frequent basis. For others, it may stem from much deeper patterns that probably aren’t worth speculating about here.
Working at a healing center can lead to feeling pressure to constantly cleanse or purify.
I’ve witnessed guests come here long-term and jettison unwanted pounds and heal chronic health conditions. Staff and volunteers often also undergo similar healing transformations in their work tenure here. Yet for staff who have been here for many years, beyond when desired weight is achieved and overall physical health has been vastly improved (or, if they were already healthy and/or at their natural or desired weight), I’ve noticed we still experience a tendency to want to further “purify”. Additionally, it’s inevitable that guests will watch our behavior and look to us as guides for living this lifestyle. It’s both a joy and a burden to feel like your actions have the potential to inspire or discourage those who may be just starting out on the path to plant-based nutrition.
I always like to remind myself and others that I eat vegan primarily for moral and ethical reasons. I eat a high raw diet because my body loves it and I find that reducing stimulants and sugars helps me stay balanced physically, emotionally and spiritually. Living in an environment where it feels like every other person is doing a cleanse or flushing their liver or doing a coffee enema can feel really intense. It can definitely bring back or cause ED patterns, and can push people to feel like they have to constantly upgrade themselves. Just as the SAD lifestyle is deleterious to our health, I think trying to stay 100% raw when it’s not what we’re ready for or what feels right to our bodies can also be damaging to our welfare.
The center’s founder and primary physician suggests that all staff and volunteers be vegan, but does not mandate that we are all 100% raw. I appreciate that he doesn’t try to suggest that we can eat our way to purity or the Divine (he’s said this numerous times), but the social pressures to eat all of our meals at the cafe (which means staying all raw) and constantly undergo a cleanse, juice feast or liver flush can often feel overwhelming nonetheless. A few of us have started making cooked (all vegan and organic) dinners some nights, and have found that through incorporating more whole, cooked vegan foods at night, we’ve achieved a balance that many of us lost along the way.
Incorporating some cooked vegan foods can help balance high raw diets
Enthusiasm for a high raw diet is great, but we need to each find what works best for our bodies. Although we are “allowed” to have the cooked dinners some of us enjoy, the house where we often share cooked meals has been nicknamed (by friends, some of whom join us for cooked meals) the “sin house” and the “contraband house.” We’re eating cooked soups and veggies, and still using highly unprocessed ingredients most of the time (with the occasional batch of baked vegan cookies tossed in for good measure!), yet some who follow raw food dogma here may believe we’ve somehow “fallen off the wagon”. While these folks’ judgments are sometimes difficult, we try to remember that if our bodies are feeling great, if we’re eating mostly raw, and if we’re totally staying true to our ethics and morals by being vegan, that’s all that matters. As nutritionists Gena Hamshaw and Ginny Messina suggest, expanding our diets to include more whole, cooked vegan foods can be very helpful and can help us find balance while still maintaining high raw diets.
Finding balance is crucial for long-term rawfood vegans
One of the most important things for those of us with disordered eating pasts is to recognize how we are emotionally reacting to our nutrition regimen. In order for me to feel awesome living and working at an all-raw center, I acknowledge that while some days I will eat all raw, other days I will not. Although the threat of diabetes tends to loom large over this place–we all know how sugar affects our bodies and how high glycemic foods can set us up for serious problems if indulged in regularly–I have to let myself eat my sweet potatoes and occasional vegan cookies in peace. Really. Instead of choosing to feel guilty like many of my peers, I choose to nourish in a more expansive way with joy. Because this bubble is so wonderful in other ways, I feel like the pressures to adhere to extreme raw, low-glycemic eating plans are worth negotiating in order to experience the other benefits I feel from working here. Still, challenges do arise, and I’m excited to explore them more in-depth on this blog in the future.
I look forward to receiving feedback on this post, and hope that in sharing my journey it may help shed light on what the experience is like for anyone who’s ever wondered about what living and working at a raw vegan retreat center or living in an all-vegan bubble looks like.
🙂 sending love, and looking forward to comments! Sarah
queerveganfood.com 
Sarah, this is a really interesting post! When I met you at the Center I made an assumption –that you were 100% raw, simply because of where you worked. As you know, I started eating higher raw last winter. I took a few raw classes and read a lot of books and my final determination was that I feel best when I try to eat something raw with every meal, but every meal doesn’t need to be raw. That works for ME.
I think your points about a cleansing mentality are very interesting. After Vida Vegan Con I saw many fellow bloggers announcing they were “cleansing.” I simply decided to stop eating vegan donuts and machnocheetos every day 🙂 I didn’t require a juice fast to get back on track. I just said to myself “I was somewhere special and ate special foods, now I’m home and it’s time to return to the whole foods I crave and love.”
I’m going to tweet this post out — I’m anxious to hear what others have to say!
You’re right, JL – there is definitely an “image” that differs from reality.
I really love that you took the time to read this and offer feedback (during VeganMoFo nonetheless!) and I also appreciate you sharing it 🙂
Very interesting. I just started an 11 week initiative at Raw Food Rehab that’s all about balance. So far, what I’m finding is that I am feeling content eating high raw – don’t feel pressure to eat 100% raw. That being said, yesterday I only wanted raw food, so that’s all I ate. And that felt good, too. But, I’m really trying to focus on listening to what my body needs and wants (knowing that it’s never actually my _body_ that wants to eat a whole bag of tortilla chips). I know that going into winter I will want cooked foods, and I’m totally okay with that, because I know I’m ALSO going to want raw foods. Balance. It’s all about balance, right?
Right! Thank you, Deanna!
Assumptions…. I have a (small) raw vegan business, and a lot of people assume therefore that I’m 100% raw vegan, which I’m neither! I love the products that I make, and my mission is that these products will inspire others in increase the amount of raw food in their diets, for their health, and to reduce the eco-pressures of our SAD lifestyles.
I’m working towards feeling the best that I can (high-raw, almost vegan), and that involves all other aspects, exercise, sunshine, sleep, and occasional cleansing – but no-one else can know what feels right for me – and I can’t know what will be the perfect mixture of all these aspects for others.
One part of spiritual/emotional wellbeing is definitely letting go of the need to control or direct other peoples journeys. And remaining secure and confident in our personal choices.
We are considering creating a community (bubble!) in the future in Australia, and it will be interesting to see the inter-dynamics between people with different habits! Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Very interesting to hear how this experience extends beyond retreat centers.
Thank you for this, Sarah. So well articulated, same experience I have had. I do feel that anything extreme for my body is excellent for purification and cleansing. As a famous healer once said to me, why are you eating like you have cancer, you don’t have cancer, widen your diet. In particular if you are cooking for young healthy children, there needs to be balance and allowing freedom. I always think of my Dad of blessed memory, who believed in moderation. He always ate wide and he always had small amounts of everything. My mom also of blessed memory, was my first and best teacher about health and diet. Before having children, she read many books, and adhered to the principles of Adele Davis, forerunner or our present “health movement”. I could write a short book, basically, everything local, organic and nothing processed. However, my mom was so strict, not any flour or sugar or packaged item ever came into our home. She told us at a young age in the grocery store that all the candy was poison (i actually agree now). When we got to grade school and saw what the children were eating, we tried everything and each one of us went through what we call a “junk food phase”. My sister and I lived in the Bay Area during college years so thank g-d came back to what mom taught us and were vegetarian as well. My brother’s junk food phase lasted for years. Children often do the opposite of what parents forbid. This is when I learned that the live food diet is amazing and brilliant. One does need to listen to your body and if you are healthy, I think (don’t know this as a fact), it might be too extreme for you over time.
Wow, this is powerful, thank you for these perspectives. Thank you so much for sharing!
Wonderfully insightful post. Thanks to JL for mentioning it on twitter so I could read it.
I very strongly believe that we all need to find for ourselves what works for our bodies. I believe it is much more whole foods and vegan centered then what the majority of the US is eating now; But I also believe that different people need different things. Before I was vegan I was more preachy than I am now, especially to my children. Since going vegan and no longer dictating what my children should eat they have become healthier eaters.
I have a long way to go with my own journey. I still eat too much processed food and need to add more raw. But, I am doing what works for me. It’s a journey.
So great Sarah! very wonderful.
Wonderful post, my friend. I was very, very careful from the start with raw food, because I knew well that it would be easy to become triggered. I didn’t read any of the “gurus,” and I never went low sugar or low fat.
That said, I did flirt with food combining for a while, and I think it was far too restrictive for me. I was relieved to learn that there was no science behind it, but dismayed, too, because I felt as though I’d let my need to obey orthodoxies (which I left behind a while ago) run free.
I’m very supportive of occasional gravity hydrotherapy under the care of a wonderful practitioner, but think home enemas can be a very, very dangerous game. And I hate the language of “cleansing,” because I think it implies that eating is somehow dirty. Thanks for a very important post.
Gena, thank you so much for reading and commenting here. I value your insights on these topics more than you’ll know. 😉
As the daughter of physician, I’ve grappled with the loving medical advice I received growing up and the medical advice espoused in many holistic healing communities. I think there’s tons of overlap (as there should be!) and also places where disagreement feels tricky. I used to fight my instincts that told me enemas weren’t my bag (if you’ll please pardon the pun) but now I just don’t do them and that’s that. To be frank, 90% of the holistic health wisdom championed here and elsewhere feels spot on, and to me that’s an “A” so to speak, so I can live and work here with a clear conscience, however that other 10% I feel happy to report is something that I will not lose sight of in order to fit in to social pressures to always side with holistic medicine without considering the evidence presented by so-called “mainstream medicine.”
🙂 Thank you again for reading, Gena!
By the way, I’m sure readers will be curious- can you please elaborate a bit if you get the chance on why you think home enemas can be dangerous?
Sure!
In theory, I think they’re fine–even a good thing! In practice, if you’re not experienced enough with them to get all the water out via massage, you can end up bloated and even slightly impacted. I also think that there can be pain from tube insertion if you’re not used to it, and finally (possibly most importantly) I’ve seen them become awfully habit forming in certain folks, to the point where a morning enema is par for the course.Daily enemas are not necessary and will NOT teach your GI tract how to function properly on its own.
If you perform enemas proficiently and have a reasonable sense of how often to do them (starting at once a week and moving to possibly once a month), rock on. But if you find yourself using them to “clean up” a rich meal you ate last night, or start your day with a flat stomach, beware.
G
These are such good points. Thanks for sharing and for helping people heal in all ways, Gena!
Great blog, Sarah!
At times I’ve sailed through, staying 100% raw and have felt great, healed, had extreme energy, felt super spiritually connected and it was wonderful. Other times I felt that I had to push myself to keep the 100% status. What I’ve found is that in the times that I’ve “deprived” myself of cooked food, I get miserable, stressed and obsessed. Eating food when you have these emotions within you is just as bad as anything else we may put into our body. When I allow myself to eat the food I’m craving, I naturally follow a high raw diet, but with freedom and no guilt. Its also important to remember an over all balance. Many times we will focus on one piece of the (raw-vegan) pie and not the whole. If we are obsessed about our food, but not rounding it out with exercise (maybe zumba??) a spiritual practice, and FUN, then the food isn’t going to do much for us. When we live within any strict rules, we will eventually rebel, and while it may be fun at the time, it doesn’t feel so good in the end.
You’re amazing, Gina! Thanks for reading!
As someone with a history of disordered (ortorexic) eating, I admit that the plethora of “detox” and “cleansing” options out there are often siren songs to pull back towards behavior that would be unhealthy for me (key–for me.) I’m not vegan, as I eat small amounts of dairy and eggs, but I do aim for a simple diet of whole, natural sustainable foods, partly for ethical reasons, but also because I know it’s what makes me feel best.
It can be hard to find the balance between what I think I “should” be doing and what I have come to regard as my normal. I would love to explore a guided retreat like the one you work at, just so I could be exposed to the variety of edible options out there, but at the same time I think it could be triggering for me as well, making me feel as if I’m not doing “enough” and pull me back towards restriction.
Props to you for working on finding that balance–one I imagine is a life-long journey for us all. Great post!
Thank you for sharing this Abby!
great post. i have just finished a book called raw food controversies by frederik Patenaude which addressed some of the issues in your post. was a very good read and spoke a lot about the different ideas in the raw food industry. well worth the read if you get the time.
Thanks for the tip. It’s a great reminder that I’m not alone in pointing out some of the challenges and joys of living in a rawfood bubble.
Sarah,
Think of it this way, if we were meant to eat cooked food we would have a stove in our side and the food would go in there. Our time of cooking food is like 5 steps n a 3 day walk of the over 2 million years our diet impacted the digestive system.
I also am vegetarian for most part however choosing vegan over raw is emotional choice maybe and ignorin that there are opiates I. The food wiki even notes it in lettuce page 40x weaker than opium itself
sarah, i love your blog posts! thanks for being so open and honest. i am glad you are enjoying some sweet potato yams these days, too 😉
Thanks for the support, Heidi!!! xoxo
[…] I go, I wanted to share a link to an article that my friend Sarah–whom you may remember from her wonderful green recovery joint […]
I very much enjoyed reading this post. I applaud your honesty and bravery (considering your environment) to express what is true to you. I have found that no matter my eating habits (all vegan, semi to high raw) I will never be “vegan enough” or “raw enough” for some folks out there and that is ok! Because those folks aren’t me and don’t know my body. It’s not like you are eating fake meats and processed junk…you could do a whole lot worse than sweet potatoes!! I am glad that you are able to find balance and stay true to yourself, that is more important than keeping up with anyone else’s beliefs.
Great points. Thanks for sharing.
Sarah, happy to see this post! I think anything in the extreme is not very healthy. I eat a high raw diet, too, but I don’t aim to be 100% even though some days I do eat 100% raw. Balance is good! I feel best eating 50-80% raw. And not only that, I think some things were just meant to be cooked! I enjoy the odd vegan cookie, too 🙂
Yay for finding balance. Thank you for sharing these perspectives, Sarah! So glad we’re connected here and on Twitter.
Thanks, Sarah!
Sarah,
Just a simple..thank you. Our natural health society has labeled so many things as * bad * that I was always cleansing and not living. I’m now balanced and living and healthier. I no longer feel guilty if something * bad* crosses my lips. I enjoy it and move on. I have found my balance through letting go of the concept of * bad*. Again, thank you 🙂
Best,
Susan
Hi Susan, it’s always good to remain more of mind of no judgement especially while eating so that the body is more relaxed and digestive juices may flow. Jubb says be kind allowing and gentle. I however make my choce knowing that it’s a drug such as pizza (one of my fav) then I enjoy the moment!
Thank you, Susan. Really appreciate your sharing this.
This is just super Sarah. In reading your recent posts, I’ve come to realize how much I relate to your suggestion that sexuality and diet are related. When you asked me about writing a blurb for your book, I couldn’t find it in myself to compare those two. While I have intended to write something since the day you asked me, I’ve only recently come to realize how drastically connected those two things are through reading your posts and asking ‘self’ how it applies to me and my sometimes poor body image. I’ve come to observe unhealthy aspects of my sometimes extreme nature with regards to food and cleansing. I’m writing a lengthy blog post to get my thoughts aligned; after which point, I feel I have something to contribute. Truly excellent article and after having worked there, I’m thrilled to read it.
Would love to read your words when they’re ready, Stephanie. Missing you and your spirit around here! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings on these topics.
Sarah,
Great post! Thank you for your honesty on the subject. As a young person I also lived and worked at a health center (wink) and have struggled with “being more” than I already was. Being cleaner, ect. I think a lot of us feel we are missing out when we see guests healing in front of us. we forget that we are right there with them- there is no separation and we are all gaining from out efforts, big or small. A lot of ego can develop in relation to diet, especially living/working at a health center, and an imbalance can occur when we put too much emphasis on one part of health, the body, and forget that there is so much more, mind heart and soul.
Joanna
Thank you for sharing this, Joanna. Hope you are doing well and feeling aligned in all ways. xo
So happy to have found this blog thru Vegan MoFo. Your background and career path are so interesting and I can’t wait to read more!
Cool! Thanks, Carrie!
Beautifully said, Sarah! What a wonderful reminder to remain true to ourselves no matter the situation. I’ve been happily raw for 4 years, but most of that time I was living in sunny Florida. I’m now in Portland, OR where the cool rainy weather is creeping in. I’m very open to making changes in my diet to remain happy, comforted and balanced without compromising my vegan values or health.
I can’t wait to read more. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to immerse myself in the bubble 😉 so it’s cool to get some insight and a sneak peek inside!
hugs,
Natalia
Aw, thanks for sharing this Natalia. Climate is such a factor in diet! I like how our center changes the food it serves around winter. Fare usually includes more slightly warm chickpea miso-kelp noodle soups and plenty of hot medicinal mushroom tea.
Great post. It’s funny now that I have become vegan (and try to keep it at least 50% raw) how much I look at what other people eat! And how much I feel like grabbing them and shaking them and say “No no no!”. But alas…
I have to ask, where is that you work!? I am in AZ too and would love to find out more about the place!
You can come visit! We’re in Southern Arizona.
Thank you for this thoughtful, beautiful and honest post! I am a vegan who eats raw 75% of the time. Although I do counsel clients on their diets I do not work directly in the raw detox world and cannot even begin to imagine how the preasure must be to eat “perfectly.” It is so hard to put a label on our eating habits- and damaging to do so. We must all eat what our bodies need and are asking for- not what we think we are expected to! Very brave- thank you!
Love your comment, Katherine.
Sarah, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with maintaining a high (as well as 100%) raw diet. It is refreshing to hear such an honest voice out there who is addressing these unspoken issues within the raw community!! 🙂 It is also very reassuring to hear that other people struggle with particular ways of eating, and I am inspired by all of you for speaking so openly about your experiences. I try to maintain a high raw diet as much as possible because I’ve had such a great experience eating this way for the past few years, although this changes from time to time, and I need to remind myself to make conscious changes to my diet and lifestyle in order to listen to my body. A wonderful post!
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing this. I appreciate it so much!
I loved reading your post and the discussion here in the comments–just wonderful. I’m *just* vegan, but have a history of an eating disorder so try to be very aware of urges to eat “perfectly” even when disguised as an urge to just be healthier. I agree with what so many have said–finding balance is so much more important than following the ultimate healthy diet (which is different for each person anyway!)
Yes!
Health is from a word meaning “whole”, and it is well accepted that TRUE health is about wellbeing in body, mind AND soul. The “fuel” is so very important, but there are many things that fuel our mind and heart- for good or ill, which can nurture our inner-self-health or otherwise. As you say- so wonderfully- you nurture more expansively with joy and calm, as well as food. Great post!
Thanks, Beth! Glad you read the post and thought it was interesting.
HI! first time here… and I really enjoyed this post. While I don’t work at a “all raw food center” I do think that the pressure to eat all raw can be found in the culture of raw foodism as well. Personally at least.
At first I was always feeling like I should eat raw… then I realized that pressure is pressure… no matter which diet I chose– and that I wanted to set the rules for my eating based on my body.
Good stuff Sarah!
You’re so right – and thank you for coming by my blog! Welcome and hope to see your comments here again sometime. xo
Love your blog. Vegan over 35 years, 100% raw have been for years; my balance is mainly raw foods and little plant based cooked. Guilt free when I eat a little steamed veggies Always plant based. Stuck at 18 years old in mind but not on birth certificate. Feeling great. Addicted to the gorgeous colors of fresh produce and flowers I have become a photography addict. Have my gardening and healthy/eating, wellness site up that includes frugal saving money tips. Leading raw group here in Boulder for years still. You are a new name –thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much!
What an excellent post & peek inside a renowned center for healing via raw foods! Thank you for sharing your experience! Have you ever read The Creation of Health by Caroline Myss? Her books are amazing, and in this one, chapter 12 – Psychosomatic Illness Is Stress Illness – she says “the evidence is overwhelming that health is the result of a positive attitude and the choices we make in relation to our lifestyle”. Not that this is the 1st any of us have heard this – but it’s so important to remember!
I bring this up b/c all too often some people within our industry, with wonderful intentions, act as though food is all that matters. Our attitude matters – our mindset matters – how we feel when we eat matters – and if we’re eating with resentment or out of spite for “sticking to our 100% (at times dogmatic w/ the potential to be neurotic about it) raw diet”, then I personally believe it does more harm to the body than benefit. Eat the foods that feel good in your body and love everything while you do. 🙂
Thank you for the book recommendation – looks really interesting! I’ll have to check it out. Thank you for sharing these insights here!
I’m really glad that you wrote this piece. The culture of rawfood and cleansing is so convincing that most people do not challenge its logic. It’s especially credible when someone *within* that culture challenges it.
Thanks for sharing this! Hope to see you around the blog again soon…
[…] I go, I wanted to share a link to an article that my friend Sarah–whom you may remember from her wonderful green recovery joint […]